Janessa’s Blog

My internship blog can be found by clicking on the address here: cdv480.blogspot.com.

To junior year. Turned in my 34-page research design, took three finals, and it was over.

To my fellow community development students. Had a community development intern send-off at the Chalmers Center, and all of our professors and the Chalmers Center staff prayed for us before we scatter.

To Founders. Cleaned, packed, moved out. It’s been a good year in that old building.

To my roommate. Graduation was, as always, bittersweet.

To Georgia. I’m in Maryland right now at Anna H.’s house until I head out to begin my internship tomorrow.

To my friends. I don’t know anyone in Suffolk yet, but I have high hopes that I will eventually adjust.

To this blog– a temporary farewell. But never fear! Although I won’t be blogging for Covenant this summer, I have begun another blog to write updates on my community development internship in Suffolk. If you’re a friend, a family member, or even a prospective student who might  be interested in studying community development at Covenant, please look up my new blog at cdv480.blogspot.com. I hope to be blogging back here again in August.

Goodbye for the summer!

One year and one week ago today, the tornados hit.

This year, I was busy taking finals on Friday instead of evacuating, so I wasn’t able to write a post in memory of that day on its exact anniversary, but I still want to draw attention to it. It’s a little strange having plenty of time to pack and clean instead of doing it all as hastily as possible, in the dark, without electricity or running water, throwing whatever doesn’t fit in a bin into the hallway, and leaving without time to even really say goodbye. Today, the sun is shining. There are no ominous green clouds are in sight, and Chattanooga feels very differently from the way it did a year ago, but every time we go down the mountain, we still pass a rubble heap where a big, majestic house used to stand. When we drive to Highlands Church, we pass through what may have been a forest, but now every tree is lying on its side. And it’s not just trees and houses– there are people that aren’t here anymore as a result of that day, too.

Tragedies and disasters are important to remember in any community’s life. They add to its history and even shape its perception of what is possible– we didn’t think tornadoes could climb mountains before we experienced it last year. April 27, 2011 doesn’t just matter to Chattanooga or to Covenant because one year later all our professors had nervous notes in the backs of their minds about what they would do about finals if it happened again, or because we still all jump whenever we hear a high-pitched noise. It matters because this community is still dealing even more significantly with its effects and its losses.

It’s gotten too expensive for us to drive the 45 minutes out to Highlands Church every Sunday, so I have found myself again in a rather unsettled place, Sabbath-wise, here at the end of the semester. I have had the chance to visit some churches I haven’t been to, though, one of them being Rock Creek Fellowship here on the mountain. This past Sunday, Pastor Youngblood preached a sermon on faithful obedience, drawing on Ecclesiastes 7:8 and 1 Corinthians 1:1-9. There are a few things from that sermon that I particularly want to keep in mind during these days before finals and summer, when I am most prone to lose perspective.

1. Real faith endures. “My generation is prone to radicalism without follow through,” said Pastor Youngblood, quoting Pastor Kevin DeYoung. Sometimes the everyday life of the Christian doesn’t seem exciting enough for us, and we begin to question whether or not this is really all God has for us. Maybe some of those questions are necessary and we do have issues with joylessness. But real faith is different from short-lived spiritual fervor, the kind that you feel at a youth rally and call “being on fire for God.” That does have its place in the Christian life– but is not the most important part of it. Real spiritual enthusiasm remains through days, months, and years, faithfully obedient. It is, as Nietzsche put it, “a long obedience in the same direction.” “If we don’t have a ‘theology of the long haul,’” said Pastor Youngblood, “we might find complacency where it is not.” Maybe what we’re really seeing is patient faith that endures.
2. There is time for rest. We are not superhuman. When we try to do too much it isn’t honoring to God; it is trying to be God.
3. No one can come to the Son unless the Father draws him (John 6:44). We would not even call on God if he did not call us first. As Pastor Youngblood said, “You would not be wanting him if he were not first wanting you.”
4. Don’t constantly take your own spiritual temperature. I do this a lot. I stare at my own spirituality and try to assess it. Instead, said Pastor Youngblood, stay in 1 Corinthians for a while and look at what Paul says to the Corinthians about God and his grace and faithfulness. Anyone who stays with Jesus for very long becomes a great disappointment to themselves and to others, but God’s evaluation is more important than ours.
5. God is favorably disposed toward you. If you’re going to make it as a Christian in the long haul, you must remember that. God loves to bless us and to answer our prayers.

Half an hour before the midnight deadline for my research design last night the computer in the library decided to unplug itself and eat my executive summary, and today I went for a “short run” and got lost in the woods for an hour and a half.

But all of my junior year classes are over. My 34-page research design is in the box outside of Dr. Mask’s door. It’s actually quite anticilmactic– it felt like fireworks should have erupted from the mailbox as soon as I turned it in. All my assignments are finished, although I haven’t really internalized that yet, and now I just need to keep breathing through finals.

One more day of classes. Two econ finals to study for. Three days before all of the internship-bound Community Development juniors meet with our professors and the Chalmers Center staff to be sent off with prayer. Four days before finals start. Five days before my work study hours are completed for the year.

Seventeen more hours to complete as an admissions caller. Thirty pages written on my research design. Twelve days before our senior class graduates. Nine before I take my last final as a junior.

I just got my graduation form in the mail. At the end of last year and the year before that, I watched friends pull the same bright yellow sheet from their mailboxes and stare at it with a mixture of excitement and uncertainty.

Senior year is almost here. Graduation is daunting, because it means leaving the safety and familiarity of Covenant College, but there are several transitions that will come before I walk across the stage at Commencement that are not as trepidatious.

1) Living in a new place. As I have mentioned before… I will be living in the apartments, and I’m eager for the change.

2) Moving up in the world. By which I mean, working upstairs. After three years working as a student admissions caller in the basement of Probasco and contacting prospective students, I will be moving up to the ground floor next year to join Visit Staff. I think I will really enjoy working there and having more direct interaction with visitors, giving some tours, and welcoming prospective students to campus.

3) Completing my internship. I’ll be in Virginia three weeks from today. It will be strange to have all that behind me next year.

4) Beginning my SIP. Not sure how long my excitement about this one will last, but at this point I’m looking forward to it.

And after all that, I’ll get a diploma.

I don’t know if I can do this today…

Sit here. Pull more words out of my head for blog posts and then even more words for papers and research projects. Stare at a computer screen until my eyes fall out and my neck gets cramped. Sit in a white study room in the library until I forget there is a world outside. Wear a backpack. Make another phone call at work.

My head hurts from reading and writing and my arms feel like they are going to fall off from carrying my books around for months.

It is time for the school year to end! Four more days of classes.

Here’s a great picture of Blue Hole that Mary took. We jumped off the rock without feeling the water first and it was so cold that I couldn’t breathe when I came up.

Sam jumps off the rock.

Fording the river.

Another view of the river and trees.

Thanks for sharing your pictures, guys!